The Last Marauder
by All Things Go
Summary: Remus goes back to Grimwald Place after the events of The Order of the Phoenix. The world is a lonely place for a werewolf. One shot


Disclaimer: I own nothing at all! Nothing! The quote has an unknown author.

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**The Last Marauder**

Remus grimly opened the door to the now empty (just as he felt: empty and drained) number twelve Grimwald place. He looked around and sighed once he realized he had forgotten what he came for. He wandered aimlessly up the stairs and let his feet take him to the attic; the last place Remus had seen Sirius in the house alive. He opened the door and stepped inside. There was a high pitched cracking sound; he looked down and saw an old brass picture frame worn and tarnished from many years of use. Slowly he stooped and carefully (as not to scare the occupants) removed the faded picture. It was a picture of James, Sirius, Peter and himself taken (who knows how many years ago) somewhere on the Hogwarts grounds. He didn't even remember the moment.

Stress from the war had taken its toll on him and he looked aged beyond his years; Remus noted absently as he glanced at a dusty mirror on a wall across from him and back to the picture. There was now graying hair at his temples and wrinkles on his forehead and around his eyes. He didn't look much like the handsome (if not a little sickly) boy he once was.

His sad brown eyes gazed at the people surrounding him: James and Sirius where now dead, and Peter. Peter… The Peter he knew was more dead to him than James and Sirius would ever be. He let out a cry of anguish. He had tried to be strong for Harry's sake, but now it was too much to bear. That's when the tears started to fall. At first he tried to cry quietly, muffling the sounds in his hands. But then he lost all self control and great, heaving sobs escaped him and wracked his whole body. He fell back into an old, brown, moth-eaten chair and sat down. It was hard and uncomfortable, _but that's good_, he thought bitterly. He didn't want anything to try and improve his mood or distract him from his grief.

It was all Dumbledore's fault, he thought irrationally. He should never have talked James and Lily into picking Peter over Sirius. Dumbledore shouldn't have stuck his overlong nose into who James chose. It seems your family name never really leaves you, no matter ho much you might wish it to. Black stuck to Sirius his whole life. But those acrimonious thoughts ended as suddenly as they came. With a start he realized that he had been just as bad; believing that Sirius killed Peter and betrayed Lily and James. But how could he have known? And there was a traitor, it just wasn't Sirius. Sirius… the death was still fresh in his mind. He could have saved Sirius, he was right there… No! He couldn't have done anything. It was all Bellatrix's doing; no one else could have prevented it. He could not start having doubts about himself.

Suicide was something he considered a few times since that long night in the Department of Mysteries. But Remus knew it was the cowards' way out. And, if he knew anything about himself, it was that he wasn't a coward. Not in that way.

Why should he give up on life? Many people were in worse situations then him (although not a whole lot came to mind) and he had the gall to feel sorry for himself? He needed to live as though he had three lives to cram into a single lifespan to make up for Sirius's and James's lost time.

His friends were always so strong. He was never as dedicated and driven as they were. But now it was his turn to be strong for those still remaining. Would James appreciate Remus giving up on life, on _Harry_, his only child? What would Sirius think if he saw Remus blubbering over him? Padfoot would think it was ridiculous, and that he should move on with his life.

By now the tears subsided enough to for him to look at the picture more closely. He allowed himself a watery smile as he remembered his days back at Hogwarts, when things where so much simpler. He remembered his Muggle-studies teacher's favorite saying: "Life gives us brief moments with another...but sometimes in those brief moment we get memories that last a life time..."

The good memories washed over him- running around with James's cloak, discovering old passageways, becoming a perfect, Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail finally becoming amungis so they could be with him during his transformations, and (as mush as he tried to avoid it, although it was impossible not to with James and Sirius as friends) detention.

As the last Marauder looked down at the picture once more, he threw back his head and, for the first time since Sirius's death, _really_ laughed.

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It seems as though if I put any more emotions into Remus in this short of fic he will explode, so I'll stop there. That was my first actual attempt at writing basically anything (outside of school, but school doesn't count). And I was half asleep when I thought of it, so tell me what you think!. Oh, and I went back and kinda edited it in a fit of insomnia, so I hope it is more fun to read. Review! 


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